Tech terms that sound dumb — now
October 29, 2009 by Valerie HelmbreckPosted in: Communication, IT employment, In this week's e-newsletter, Latest News & Views, Web 2.0, cloud computing
Nobody likes to sound dumb, but it’s really easy when you’re talking about IT. The terms change fast and it’s easy to use an outdated one, even if you know plenty.
And when a topic’s outside your area of expertise, the problem gets even bigger.
Why does the lingo change so often? Most likely because technology evolves and becomes antiquated at a pace that would make Lance Armstrong dizzy.
Besides, the technology subculture is about as snobbish as any clique of experts on a particular topic. Changing up the terms is one way of separating real techies from wannabes.
Here’s a good list of tech terms you’ll want to avoid, along with their current substitutions, courtesy of the folks at NetworkWorld.
- Intranet: Yes, every company has one but now it’s called a “portal.”
- Extranet: A secure connection to your company network via the Internet, this is now accomplished by “VPN” (virtual private network) connectivity.
- Web surfing: Nobody but your 83-year-old grandmother does this anymore. Folks “browse” and they “Google” (yes, it’s now a verb), but waves are the only thing that are surfed, not the Internet.
- Push technology: It’s so 90’s. And it also sucked too much bandwidth, so now everyone gets streams of information via “RSS” (Really Simple Syndication.) Go figure.
- Application Service Provider (ASP): Fewer and fewer organizations are buying software these days, but they still need it. So they often subscribe to it using the “Software as a Service” or “SaaS” business model. Users access the software via a Web site that resides in “the Cloud” — as in “cloud computing.” The benefit: You pay only for what you use. ASP is, well, old school, and doesn’t put as fine a point on the service as these related terms.
- Personal Digital Assistant (PDA): Personally, I own three old PDA’s and I can’t bear to toss them, despite the fact I haven’t used one in more than five years. PDA fans have switched their allegiance to the “smartphone” — things with names like BlackBerry, iPhone, Treo and such. (This is what’s often referred to as “unified communication,” technology that blends many functions in a single unit.)
- Telephony: Ah, for the days when they had whole conferences devoted to the topic. Now we say “Voice over IP” or “VoIP” which just means that all telephone calls travel over the Internet. Because they do.
- Weblog: In the beginning, Internet junkies recorded their every waking thought, no matter how stupid or poorly informed, in a Weblog. Their habit became known as “blogging” and their ramblings their “blogs.” They themselves became bloggers. Heaven help us all.
- Thin client: The idea was that most users don’t need the full processing power of a computer, they could all work off a terminal that sucked up less energy and used fewer software applications. For no apparent reason, these skinny units became known as “virtual desktops” — as opposed to the desktop computer workers used to have. (My theory: The name was changed to make sure that only the computer cognoscenti knew the right moniker.)
- RBOC: This antiquated term was born of the mid-80s break up of AT&T into “Regional Bell Operating Companies,” aka Baby Bells. The subsequent mergers and changes in telecom carriers means that RBOC doesn’t refer to anything that exists anymore. No substitution required.
- Long distance call: When was the last time you got charged for one? Exactly. Most carriers now let subscribers/customers call someone across the country for the same flat rate they’re charged for calling next door. “National” and “Unlimited” calling plans are now standard with most carriers.
- World Wide Web: Nobody calls it “the Web” or the “Information Superhighway” either. It’s “the Internet.” That’s all. You can still get stuck in it however. And your access to it can still “go down” or sites can “crash” or “lock up.” But so far, the Internet itself hasn’t crashed, been dismantled or shut down by nefarious forces — although it isn’t for lack of trying.
Please feel free to add terms or correct them as you see fit. We can all learn from our mistakes.
FinanceTechNews.com delivers the latest Finance news once a week to the inboxes of over 150,000 Finance professionals.
Click here to sign up and start your FREE subscription to FinanceTechNews!
Tags: Internet, IT, language, outdated, surfing, terms, World Wide Web
October 20th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Remember when a copy was called a “Xerox” because Xerox was the first to really push copiers? Once in a while I still hear someone say “Xerox this”
October 29th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Xerox — does anyone out there remember carbon paper?
October 29th, 2009 at 8:21 am
Pre-Xerox…the mimeograph…I used to love the smell of the papers that the teachers handed out that were mimeographed.
October 29th, 2009 at 9:04 am
newsletter?
October 29th, 2009 at 9:44 am
How about pegboard accounting systems?
October 29th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Carbon paper and onion skin paper beneath it were a tactile wonder. And that purple ink smell of a mimeo passed out by the teacher: Sublime. I haven’t encountered that smell in decades. Has anyone else?
October 29th, 2009 at 10:02 am
I remember when “cut and paste” was an art form and white out was your best friend.
October 29th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Valerie: It WAS sublime, wasn’t it? I haven’t encountered anything like it either but will have it in my olfactory memory forever.
Bobby: I remember pegboard accounting and ledger cards very well…honed my skills on them in the mid-70’s. Personally, I think many younger bookkeepers and accountants these days would be well served with experience in manual systems. It seems that the thought process behind accounting now is embedded in computer software so when it’s critical to be able to do some hardcore reconciliation work, many newly trained beancounters struggle with the nuts and bolts of debits and credits. But that’s just my opinion.
October 29th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Hey Marie, I’m really dating myself with this, but I remember back in my early newspaper days when we actually had scissors and glue pots so we could physically cut and paste stories together! And the White Out bottles that were always dried up when you needed them most. The greatest invention ever was the typewriter ribbon with a built-in white out strip. Those were the days…
Roxanne: Do you think they make an air freshener that’s the smell of the mimeo handout? All us baby boomers would buy it for the memories.
October 29th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
I am afraid that you are a little ahead of the game removing Long Distance Calls because I am still being required to pay for a Long Distance provider. I not only have Verizon as my regular phone provider but I have to pay AT&T to provide long distance service and I get billed for “Long Distance Charges” so it has not gone by the wayside as yet.
October 29th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Someone is blending together two duplication technologies. Mimeographs used a stencil made of a fiber backing with a plastic-y coating that you could type on or draw on using sharp implements. You wrapped this around the mimeograph machine drum when done, and when you ran the machine, the ink came through the parts of the stencil that were removed and was absorbed by the paper. Great chemical smell! You could use black ink, but also other colors. A BIG mess to change color, lots of ink inside the machine, all over your hands and clothes, … Churches used these a lot – a hassle to cut a stencil, but pretty good looking results at potentially very high volumes – thousands of copies with one stencil not a problem.
Schools used Ditto machines for lower volume duplicating. You also typed or drew on a master, but here there was some kind of ink on the master backing sheet that got pressed onto the master (in reverse), and when you ran the machine it deposited a little bit of that ink onto the page to make the image. You couldn’t make more than fifty or so copies before that ink ran out, then you would need a new master.
More than you wanted to know, but some great memories!
October 30th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Ruby,
If you want to save a LOT of money for your long-distance, go to http://www.pioneertelephone.com
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:16 pm
When I was a youngster, the Secretary at religious school used to let me help her with the mimeograph. The liquid was clear, smelled really ‘pretty’ and I would insert the stencil and run off a hundred or so copies for her.
And YES, Marie – I still have some carbon paper in my desk at home. I also used the “new” pegboard payroll system in the 60’s when my Dad’s Secretary was on vacation. I filled in for her. Much easier than the manual system. She used onion skin paper too.
I guess I must be older than dirt since I can relate to all of the above!
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:41 am
I remember helping my Dad use stencils on the church Gestetner machine to print bulletins for the services. This was in the 60s. I was a good typist, so also got to do some of the typing (and correcting!) on the stencils. And yes, there was nothing like the smell of the purple ditto ink in school.
I was cleaning up recently and found the Underwood typewriter I used to write all of my papers in college. Like Bob Hope, “Thanks for the Memories”. I also found a 6-inch Pickett slide rule! Does that mean I was around even before dirt?
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:54 am
Not so fast on the “long distance” and “all telephone calls travel over the Internet”. For those of who live further out, we STILL cannot use VoIP and we still pay for local & long-distance calls. The future has not caught up to us yet! I am particularly peeved about this because we live in a suburb of St. Louis! Granted, we are in a slightly more rural area but we are still within 35 miles of St. Louis and we are in a city and a neighborhood. Go figure.
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I, too, always loved the smell of the mimeographed pages. Of course, I also thought dry-cleaning fluid smelled interesting. Unfortunately when I went to college and learned what they really were (benzene/toluene and carbon tetrachloride – fairly potent carcinogens) it was a real downhearted moment.
If “Glade” could come up with the scent in something a little less toxic I’d buy it – If for no other reason than to drive my kids nuts.
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Useless article.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Ruby Beal, I am not sure why you are paying AT&T for long distance service while having Verizon as your base service? I have Verizon – Freedom essential & I do not pay any long distance charges. Not even sure of the last time I even checked to see who was called long distance, on a bill. You may want to give Verizon a call to get setup to include long distance.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm
When it comes to Mimeo & Ditto, just ask Dave. Thanks Dave for that very detailed explanation.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Has anyone fully given up their home telephone calling to use just the computer calling feature?
November 4th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
My boss, who is 78, uses the term “photo-stat” instead of copy (or Xerox, from an earlier post)!
November 4th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Got a little “old school” feeling just this morning. I had to drag out a typewriter – an actual typewriter!! In these days of online forms, scanning, pdf’s, digital signatures, and the tons of other apps and services to be had, I felt a little nostalgic to get that old banger out. Didn’t stop me from putting back in the closet as soon as I was through with it, however ; )
November 4th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
and if the “dittos” were “fresh,” they were cool to touch!
November 19th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Roxanne, yes I agree with you about doing accounting manually at first then learning on the computer. I taught accounting and would always have the students do everything manually first. It is the only way to learn. I teach the hard way then show them the easy way, I think they appreciate it more. And yes the smell of mineo and ditto was wonderful, I was on the school newspaper and made the copies.